i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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