she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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