And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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