He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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