so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
