i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
