He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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