Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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