My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
