Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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