i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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