sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
