Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
