Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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