Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
