I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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