you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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