So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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