wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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