Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
