This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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