And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
