Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
