Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
