i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
