you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
