We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
