ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
