I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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