only if we run a train.
done.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
