remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Holy shit dude........stairs
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
