I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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