can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
