i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my being single is dangerous.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
