i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
