are you still at the devil's house?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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