if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You took a bar mat shot.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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