I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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