Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
