mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I CAN MOONWALK!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My dick has a subreddit
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
