I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
