glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
