So drunk its hurt
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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