I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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