my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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