hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
two words...techno handjob
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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