there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
