remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
