Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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