Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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