No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
