You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
