He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
