theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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